My birthday is tomorrow and I’m currently 30,000 thousand feet in the air headed on a self-made retreat. The party plan is to check in with the mothership to see what’s ready to hatch or be released for the year ahead.
I’ve been thinking about this newsletter, which is a strange word for what I do here now that I think of it. Simply letter feels more on point. Or trying to make sense of things with words. In any case, I’ve been thinking about it and wondering what it wants to be.
My reason for starting this letter in January 2024 was the same as it is today: to share stories, thoughts, mostly questions, about living this richly magical and troubling life. I wanted to write things that when read, would help my reader—you—feel more connected to something meaningful or unanswered, hopeful or hidden, in your own life. Words to keep you company.
So I check myself before publishing here: Is this the thing I want to say? Does this have value? Does anyone need this? I don’t always know for sure, but the asking keeps me honest, and I suppose on track.
And…it’s also easy with these newsletter-y things to get into the mandate of it all. The publishing rules, as it were. The schedule, the reach, the traction. Publishing the thing every week at the same time because you said you would even when the why has grown a little murky and thin.
There’s an acronym that encapsulates how I’m feeling about this space and my relationship to writing and communication in general right now: WAIT. It stands for Why am I talking? and I think comes from the world of psychotherapy. It offers a reminder to pause before filling space with words, even wise or well-intentioned ones. Not just, Is this the thing to be said? but Does anything need to be said at all?
So I’m going into my birthday retreat with these thoughts and more. Reflecting on the lack of irony of having a chronic condition that makes me hyper-attuned to listening, and asking how to make the most of it. Celebrating what’s here, opening up to what’s next.
These are a lot of words to say that I’m pausing Three-Minute Mondays for the time being. I don’t know for how long and if they’ll return in the same format, morph into something new, or saunter into an easy, generous Caribbean retirement. (I’m trying to not have an agenda, but a little island breeze sounds nice even without the retirement. 🏝️)
I will always write and I will always meditate. These practices are my medicine and a great source of clarity and inspiration. But what’s in it for you? I’ll let you know when I know.
xo,
Christa
Happy birthday, beauty and proud of you for not being afraid of the pause. I'm in the same boat myself...does anyone care, the numbers on all of this suck, why AM I talking/writing? FWIW, I love what you're doing here, possibly because there is so much intention behind it (oh and your words are pure poetry). Lots of love to you. xo
Happiest of birthdays! I honor whatever path you find yourself on with this “letter”, but know that it is read, listened too (thank you for the bite-size mediations from someone who can get a little caught up in the ritual of it all and often ends up skipping completely if I don’t have “enough time or the right space”) They have reminded me that even a few moments can be profoundly valuable. Sending lots of love and will be keeping an eye out for whatever comes next….❤️